Ok, no more bird flu jokes

A little too much reality today. We had a little tour our guide arranged for the group to the countryside to visit a farming village and we were going to meet a certain family and see their home. We thought this would be a neat cultural experience. I for one was excited to be able to pet some chickens! Ok just kidding. It was ironic because I had been making jokes on the bus with our group about wanting to pet some chickens if we saw some and then we were all stunned that there were chickens walking around all through the alleys and even in people's houses. The current Avian bird flu epidemic in China and Asia has been gnawing at all of our minds. There has been no human-to-human cases of transmission- the transmission of this flu has all been bird (mainly chicken) to man and the mortality rate is over 50%. So, when you are in China and you are suddenly surrounded by chickens which are the major carriers for this flu you get a little nervous. It was funny- like my bus ride chicken jokes were on me. No more bird flu jokes from me. Hey, you can't blame me- I mean I'm going to a farming village in China- it was just sitting there! (you would have done it too)

We pulled up in our bus and followed our guide down a narrow alley of tiny old brick dwellings with old chinese tile roofs. The homes were basically a floor and a roof - some of them didn't even have doors but were open air. They had clothes hung up outside as normal and some had the typical meat hanging up outside. There were less clothes and meat hung up outside their homes than in Nanchang... and it is sad to say this is because they don't have much in the way of clothes and meat to hang outside. There was trash everywhere and a stinky brown muck in many spots along the middle of the alley we had to step around. The homes had literally nothing in them- maybe a makeshift bed and a clothes washing bucket sitting on an unmentionably dirty cement floor plus maybe a bench or a picture. We saw a woman washing clothes in a dark, waste-filled pond next to the village near a hill covered with trash. Baby chickens were walking all through the trash hill looking for food. The scene was dramatic as were the smells but the people were very curious to see us and were nothing but kind and welcoming. (and they really were happy)

However, we must have looked like aliens from mars walking through the alleys in front of these people's homes and honestly it felt wrong to be walking through as a "tour". I know this was an innocent cultural exchange experience- we were simply not prepared for what we saw. (having said that no one we met seemed offended, only curious and nice) The host home lady we met was being paid to show us her home so for that reason alone I'm glad we came but we were absolutely embarrassed to be walking up in our wealth and looking at her home where she had nothing and was living among waste like she and her child were some kind of a side show. It felt sick and wrong. You just don't know what to do in a situation like this because you want to show them honor and kindness. Our host home lady was pretty, sweet, and very happy to see us. She seemed to think it was neat to see these little Chinese girls being held by a bunch of friendly foreigners (that is what the Chinese call anyone who is not Chinese). She held her sweet boy (4-ish) who was all bundled up and was talking to him and pointing at all the babies (which has been happening a lot) I'll show you a picture of them and the village.

When we walked down the alley to meet our host home lady Jamie thought we were walking through the back-alleys to the garages or sheds of these people. She gradually realized this was where they lived and she was unprepared for that. She just thought this was going to be a little tour of a farm (we all did). As the knowledge of these people's living conditions sank in she really got visibly emotional and upset. The people were sweet and she felt embarrassed by our obvious wealth and by the fact that we were touring their ramshackle dwellings. She started breaking down and had to turn away from everyone and stood to the side by me. She was fighting to keep the tears back and to be subtle so that no one could see what she was doing because then that would guarantee to shame these nice people if they saw her crying when we saw their home. She was able to hold things together well enough that no one saw anything and I took her back to the bus. Two other couples ended up following. I guess I'm glad we went even though it was sad. Something like that has to change your perspective.

Our tour guide told us many poor villagers can't let their children go to the supposedly free schools because they don't have the money for books and supplies and I think he indicated the parents needed help at home with farming rice, etc (don't quote me on that but I think I took that from what he said). So, if they have nothing and they cannot get an education they cannot improve things for themselves and are stuck in these poor villages. You wonder why a single mom would abandon a child until you see conditions like this. You wonder why a family who can only have one child would abandon a baby girl to try again for a boy until you realize that culturally the boy supports the parents- and these people have nothing. It doesn't make it right maybe but you can have a lot of compassion after seeing it.

Fortunately China adoption is growing dramatically and although the supply of baby girls (primarily girls- or boys with special needs) is huge. I know a statistic that is a couple of years old that said a million baby girls are abandoned per year. Our guide told me tonight that the CCAA (Chinese Federal agency responsible for foreign adoptions) is on a run rate of 24,000 adoptions a year up from 10,000 last year. The word is getting out not only on the need but on the great outcomes that happen through China adoption. Everyone I know, knows someone who knows someone who has done this. The word is out which is evidenced by our plane ride into Nanchang filled with adoptive families.

At least for these abandoned baby girls in destitute conditions - hope is a candle that is being lit in the hearts of many.

Read more at http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/ and click on adoption. Touching and worth the read. Their lives have been an inspiration to us and his foundation actually gives financial grants to families who want to adopt- neat! I'll give you 5 bucks if you can hear his new Christmas video about adoption and not cry.

Although we can't visit Nanfeng which is 3 hours away the Gladney program director who called us tonight in our hotel to see how we are doing said that it is poor and might be similar to what we saw today. Since we can't travel to Nanfeng I asked him if he could tell me anything interesting about the city. He said the city is noted across China for its oranges which are very small and sweet. Apparently they were even shipped across China to the Forbidden City in Beijing to be supplied to the Emperors- so that is a neat thing to learn. I'll research more on Nanfeng later so I can teach Noelle more about where she came from.

Alright, it happened. We're a little sick of Chinese food. We're thankful for what we have experienced but ummm... we just need something else. So, we braved the walk through the busy city streets to KFC. It is hilarious how many KFC's they have here. (no there isn't a Starbucks here in Nanchang which means I am only like 1/3 awake at all times and Jamie is saying "I want my husband back!"- I guess I'm a dud without coffee?!??!? Well that's just great.) When I say we "braved" the busy streets let me explain. Crossing a street in China is a little like a game of human "Frogger" without the 3 free lives. I actually think they get extra points for "ace-ing" an American.

Noelle is doing great. She is totally comfortable with us. She likes to smile and loves it when we blow on her neck and mess around with her. I'm a real goof ball with her and she loves it. She is a little behind developmentally and we are working on it. She basically sat upright in one position in a walker for 7-8 hours per day so she has a strong back and can sit up for a long time if you put her in a sitting up position. But, she has not had much "tummy time" which they need in order to get strong and in order to be able to crawl. She is starting to tolerate playing on her tummy so progress should be coming. She absolutely flips when we change her diaper- you may not have seen feet kick up in the air and gyrations like this out of a 9 month old before. We just laugh at her and power through it- she'll be ok with it eventually. Jamie says she is a daddy's girl but she is crazy about both of us. Its funny but I really love it when I leave the room and she cries. Its so sweet that I just met her on Sunday (and she initially was very scared of me) and now I can't leave a room. She plays with a little sweet smile of anticipation like we are going to do something crazy or goofy (now I don't know where she could have gotten that idea). I love her smile. Her little "coo" when she takes a deep breath and is satisfied is so sweet you can't believe it. I was teasing that she is a fast learner but she is. We have so far taught her mommy and daddy. She loves to sit and say "Da, da, da, da, da or Ma, ma, ma, ma" in a contended way when she is playing with us or when she wants us to come over to her. Also, she answers to "Noelle" better than "Wei Fen"- we think they just called all of the girls "Mei mei" (little sister I think) and "Baba" (baby). I want to comment about bonding. We spend time every day just kissing her, making her laugh and smile, holding her, and playing toys with her. We also have a little soft plastic baby photo book and we show her pictures of her sister and other family members and say their names- she loves this book and all her toys. The Chinese (that we've seen and experienced) don't use pacifiers so although she has one it is just another interesting toy to her.

Noelle got to have some play time today with some of her adopted friends. She loved it- she is so content when there are a lot of kids and adults around. We met a Christian couple who live in Arlington and were able to let our kids play this evening- fun times.

You know people ask you questions with all sincerity like "are you worried about bonding" (they mean well). We weren't terribly worried about bonding because we trust the Lord plus so many people adopt and you never hear of that issue. However, what has happened in terms of bonding has been nothing short of amazing. I typically can be a little detached myself at first- it can take me time to bond. (ok, so I'm slow- can't help it) So, bonding did hit my radar as a slight short-term worry I never talked about. However, I am so bonded right now and the emotion is so strong it almost brings a physical "butterflies" type feeling. It is amazing. Jamie is in the same state. We love Noelle so much in such a short amount of time after having met her that it is a blessed thing to experience. (in fairness Jamie wasn't worried at all, she knew she would bond fast) Also, the fact that Noelle who has no life experience in bonding with anyone has bonded so deeply so quickly with us has been a real surprise- we sort of expected issues with that. (THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed for this adoption)

Last thing - pray Maddie has peace about us being gone, she cried on the phone today and said, "Mommy, come home now".. (I can't even think about this one..) Also pray that she makes the adjustment to having a sister and that she is secure in our love.

Everyone's posts are so touching. They make our day. What an amazing bunch of people you are. Where did we find you?